Only to Forget
by Reshima Skynight
Summary: Fulfilling his promise, Haku finally returns to a lonely and devastated Chihiro. But the reason of his return will result in a not-so-happy-ending. (Complete)
1. Memories

It's been five years. Five years now. Five years since her encounter with the extraordinary. Five years since he told her not to look back. But she did look back… The memories repeatedly haunted her in a way that only made her yearn for more. 

She would cry out his name in the silence of the night. She called out to him… asking him to hold her… to talk to her… to soothe her. But there was no response. There was always no response. She would bury her head in her pillow, whispering his name over and over to herself until she fell asleep… 

*** 

"Miss Ogino, would you care to repeat what I just said?" 

"Hmm?" Chihiro glanced up with tired eyes. Oh… I'm at school. I thought I was back at Aburaya… the bathhouse. "I'm sorry Mrs. Arameshi. I-I didn't get enough sleep last night." 

"Well, sleep earlier next time," Mrs. Arameshi gave her a rather stern look and reverted back to teaching her lesson. Chihiro shook her head vigorously to snap out of her daydream. Even if I do sleep early… I end up thinking about him. It's always been about him. She rested her chin on her hand and spaced off once again. Part of her memory was still aware of her surroundings, and making sure that Mrs. Arameshi wasn't looking her way. 

Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic, she chanted in her thoughts. I am pathetic. Chihiro Ogino, you are pathetic. Pathetic, pathetic, path— "Eeek!" 

Mrs. Arameshi swiftly rapped a ruler on her desk. 

Chihiro sank back in her chair… "Heh, heh…" 

The older woman raised one eyebrow as the younger one whimpered. 

Chihiro sat up straight, folded her hands on her desk, and looked ahead at the blackboard. She heard giggles behind her as her face began to turn into a horrible red color. 

Argh!!! I hate my life… 

*** 

"You know, Chihiro," Kiromi Mistuga grabbed a pair of chopsticks and waved them at her. "You should stop dozing off during class. It's a bad habit." 

Chihiro glanced at her best friend and sighed softly. "I can't really help it. My mind always seems to drift back to—" 

"That long lost love of yours?" Kiromi interrupted with a slight scowl. "Whom you've never even mentioned! Oh, but I respect that. Your love life is your own business. But as far as I know… you haven't seen him in five years! And you were only ten years old. Don't you think ten-year-olds are a little too young to fall in love?" 

"It doesn't matter whether you are ten or twenty," Chihiro replied. "True love speaks for itself. And it was true love that I felt." 

"Mmm-hmm," Kiromi eyed her friend strangely. "All right then. If you say so." She paused. "But don't you think, after five years, you two should've drifted far apart from each other?" 

Chihiro shrugged. "If he forgot all about me… then so be it." 

"You'd be heartbroken." 

"No, I wouldn't," she lied. 

Kiromi chuckled and shook her head as she went back to her food. "Just promise me one thing, Chihiro." 

"What is it?" 

"That I'd be the first to know when you see him again. I want to judge him for myself… to see if he's good enough for my best friend." 

Chihiro smiled. "I promise." 

Kiromi nodded in a mock-solemn sort of way. "Good." And reverted back to twiddling with her chopsticks.

*** 

Chihiro would've normally walked home with Kiromi but she had a club meeting that day. So Chihiro, in the midst of loneliness, walked home by herself. Loneliness… a word she hated. And that's exactly what she had felt after leaving him. 

I think I've forgotten what he looks like… She shook her head vigorously trying to dismiss the thought. I can't forget him… I just can't! He meant so much to me… 

Chihiro felt pathetic crying over someone who had probably forgotten her over time. Someone who probably only felt sorry for her and didn't even love her in the first place… Oh God, how can I think that? "I'll give up right now," she thought aloud. "Right now…" Before I get hurt… 

"Give up what?" A voice behind her asked. Chihiro's blood froze. That voice! That… voice… I've heard it before. I know it! She didn't dare turn around… but something inside her was tugging… yearning… screaming to get out. That voice… its tone… soothing and comfortable… deep and flowing…almost like a river… 

She looked over her shoulder. A boy… he had grown taller. He had wide shoulders and slightly muscular arms. His dark hair was cropped short, a few strands falling attractively past his eyes… much unlike the style he had acquired years ago. But his eyes… still the same emerald color… still the same sparkle. 

"Haku…" 

The boy smiled and looked rather relieved. "I was afraid you'd forgotten all about me." 

Chihiro was unable to contain herself as she leapt forward into his arms. She clutched on to his shirt and forced herself to fight back the tears. She failed. 

"Haku! Y-you… you're here!" she stammered as she shut her eyes and buried her face into his shoulder. 

"Chihiro…" he whispered as he softly stroked her hair. 

She pulled away from him and narrowed her eyes. "Where have you been all this time? Haku… I practically suffered just waiting for you!" 

He didn't answer and preferred just to gaze at her. Her complexion was flawless as he was almost tempted to reach out and caress her cheek with his fingers. Her once pony-tailed hair was now like an auburn waterfall cascading down her back and her dark eyes were full of wisdom, passion, and… torment. She was a vision… the most heavenly one he's seen. Chihiro's delicate eyebrows drew together. Why was he so quiet? Was it something she said? Oh… I knew I shouldn't have said anything that made me sound pathetic… 

"Haku—" 

"Don't speak," he raised a finger to her lips. "Just stay still… let me look at you…" 

Her heart pounded in her chest as he gazed with her… emerald jewels clashed with black pearls. 

"What are you doing here?" Chihiro managed to say after a rather long electrifying moment. 

"I told you not to look back," Haku's voice was rigid but he trembled. 

"I didn't!" 

"I'm not talking about physically, Chihiro. You looked back on the memories and let it control you in such a way that made you suffer. Therefore… I suffered too. We're tied together by some bond that's not visible to the human eye… and I don't know how it happened. It just occurred without my knowing and now this is the result. Whatever you feel… I feel it too." Haku's jade eyes continued to search her dark ones for invisible answers as his fingers began to twitch, yearning to touch Chihiro's soft cheek. The urge got the best of him, and without any more hesitation he raised his hand to let his fingers graze her cheek. It felt like velvet underneath his fingertips. He noticed the blush creep up Chihiro's face as her skin slowly began to heat up. 

He pulled away quickly, thinking he had been too forward. "It's been a while, hasn't it?" Not noticing his forwardness, Chihiro smiled and nodded, unable to speak. He's really here… because of me… Her tears began to surface. I always wished… on every first star… on every birthday candle… 

And now he's here. 

*** 

Days became weeks and weeks became months. Time passed quickly for Chihiro and sometimes she wished that it would slow down a little. Being a love-struck teenager, she wanted to savor every moment with Haku. "Love-struck" wasn't really the word that described how she felt. It was too juvenile. 

It was the real and mature kind of love. The kind that you know you just can't abandon no matter what. And plus, Kiromi approved of him ("Where did you get him?! I want one too!"). 

As for Haku, he paid close attention to Chihiro's every move and every detail. As if afraid that he might forget. He was taking every opportunity to gently tuck a wisp of hair behind her ear or attempt to hold her hand. He always failed. 

He didn't really understand the "love-thing." He was a River Spirit after all and wasn't required to feel sentimental emotions. But… do the hearts of River Spirits beat faster at the sight of a particular girl? Do the minds of River Spirits always wander back to the same person? Do River Spirits bind their souls with others… especially a mortal? 

But it couldn't stay this way forever. 

The only reason why he came back to the Human World was to do something that he knew he'd regret later on. 

But he had to do it. 

For Chihiro… 

*** 

Chihiro was lying down on her bed, her silky auburn hair fanning out around her as Haku sat at the foot of her bed, holding her hand, and stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. 

He just stared at her. 

"Haku?" she asked, looking at him curiously. "Why are you staring at me like that?" 

"Just afraid I might forget you," he answered simply. 

She laughed lightly. "You're acting like we'll never see each other again." 

Haku stood from his spot to lie down next to Chihiro. "Don't ever say that…" He drew her closer and nuzzled his nose against hers. 

"Stay with me…" she murmured sleepily. "Until I fall asleep…" 

Haku ran his fingers through her hair over and over again, lulling her to go to sleep. He felt so relaxed just lying there next to her, listening to her quiet breathing. He didn't want to leave her. But he also didn't want her to get hurt. 

Throughout the night, Haku racked his brain, thinking about everything… and nothing. 

Oh what the hell. He didn't even know what to think about anymore, except for Chihiro. She was the one that took over the thoughts in his mind. He smiled, remembering the time when he saw her for the first time. She was so scared… and she depended on him. He laughed softly when he recalled her attempt to hold her breath when crossing the bridge. And he remembered… she even risked her life to save him. And she was the one who triggered his memory as he finally summoned up his true name. Chihiro really did love me… 

He brought his face closer to hers so that their foreheads touched lightly. Without any more hesitation, he placed his lips on hers, kissing her softly. Chihiro was fast asleep and wasn't able to feel the love and admiration Haku was sensing at the moment. He pulled away from her, slowly. 

Haku rolled off the bed. He reached out and touched Chihiro's forehead with his index finger. A gentle white light emerged from his finger, surrounding Chihiro's sleeping figure. Within several seconds the white light disappeared. 

Not knowing what to do next, he just stood there with an emotionless expression across his face. 

His task was completed. 

*** 

Chihiro's eyes fluttered open. She had a dream. A rather strange one. A boy was in it and it was sort of hard to distinguish his features. But he had dark hair and green eyes. That's all she remembered. She wished that she would remember the rest of her dream. That boy was vaguely familiar. 

She sat up swiftly and glanced around her bedroom. She blinked several times, trying to stay awake. "What am I looking for?" She laughed at her own lack of memory. Whatever she was trying to remember will eventually come back to her. Hopefully… 

*** 

Haku sat on a random rooftop, watching Chihiro walk to school. His heart ached for her… but he knew he had to do what he did. 

He had remembered her words. 

"Where have you been all this time? Haku… I practically suffered just waiting for you!" 

He tightly shut his eyes. She was suffering… for him! He had to erase all her memories of him. He couldn't let her carry on like that forever. 

"Oh God… why did it have to be like this?" he cried out. He roughly clenched his fists so that blood trickled from his fingers. I loved her… 

He gazed at Chihiro from afar. She was laughing. Happiness was shining from her eyes. Wasn't he suppose to be happy along with her? 

"…We're tied together by some bond that's not visible to the human eye… and I don't know how it happened. It just occurred without my knowing and now this is the result. Whatever you feel… I feel it too." 

He felt like a hypocrite. 

Because all he felt was pain. 


	2. Should I?

Shall I make a sequel?

Do you guys really want a sequel?

Well?

Is there a need for one?

Shall I leave Haku hurting, while Chihiro goes on without her memories of him?

Quite painful, isn't it?

HOLLER if you want to see our couple live happily ever after.


End file.
